How To Have Peace In Your Personal and Work Life
Posted: Sunday, May 23, 2010
by DavidTan
http://discovervalue.com
1. Respect for one another
Treat others as well as you would like to be treated. If you want others to respect you, you first have to show the same respect to others. Respect for a person is basically the appropriate attitude and actions given to the relationship between you and the other person. Respect is earned, not given by default. If your actions and attitude towards the other person do not reflect respect to the relationship, don't expect yourself to respected in any way better. Respect is like a boomerang – it goes out and comes back to you eventually.
When you show that you respect others through real actions that can be seen by others, you will gradually build their respect for you.
2. Appreciation
Be grateful for all good things that life had offered you. Life is never perfect but you have a choice on the way you choose to respond to what you received during your life journey. You can choose to be miserable for your entire life, blaming everybody for the cause of your misery. Unfortunately, others would not feel guilty for your misery so you gain nothing. On the other hand, you can choose to be grateful for what you already have. If you encountered a small problem, be grateful that it's not a big problem. If you faced a big problem, be grateful that you had survived it. You screwed up, be grateful you are still where you are now.
If you are dissatisfied with your present situation, change it for the better if you have the power to change. If you can't change your present situation, you can opt to walk away from it, or appreciate the fact that you are not in a worse-off situation. Unless you prefer to stay miserable for the rest of your life, learn to appreciate that you still have your family, your friends, your job, etc. Think of the many others out there who are struggling just to stay alive, how is your present situation worse than them?
3. Forgiveness
Forgiveness is the ability to let things be without anger. Being angry will not make good of any bad situation, it would make things worse. Forgiveness required a selfless heart. Self-centredness has no place for forgiveness. To be able to forgive, one has to give up his self-centredness and embrace a selfless heart.
The ability to forgive is a virtue that brings peace of mind to the person who is willing to nurture a selfless heart. There is no peace in the heart of a self-centred person as the self-centred person had to spend all his time trying to satisfy his self-centered needs. On the other hand, the selfless person is able to forgive and move on. His heart is at peace as he is already satisfied with what he already has.
4. Sharing
Sharing - the joy of giving without the thought of receiving. In the work place, each of us is part of a bigger team / group. Just like forgiveness, the benefits of sharing are only experienced by the selfless heart. As we willingly help each other and carry each other's work load, the overall team work load becomes lighter. But if we are only receiving help and not offering help within the team, the overall team work burden becomes heavier. Over time, the team will feel the strain and break down because not every member of the team is sharing the load.
5. Honesty
The quality of always telling the truth. To every person, his "perceived reality" is usually his "truth". However, this is not always the case. Hence, it is important for everyone in the team to learn to differentiate what are the hard facts, the interpreted assumptions & emotional reactions to perceived realities.
Hard facts are visible and easily verified. They are not interpreted and are never presented in a way where one can sense emotions attached to them. Very often, we add our own emotions and assumptions to the hard facts during meetings and treat these mixtures as "the truth". We need to be careful not to mix these three elements together as it is usually the root cause for mis-communication.
Example, the following statement is a fact:
"The invoice was received two months ago. We are processing the invoice now. The invoice is processed late."
The above statement describes only what had happened and there were no assumptions or interpretations made.
The following statement is an example of an interpreted assumption:
"The invoice was received two months ago. Finance claimed they sent out on the day they received the invoice. It must be lost in transit again."
The above statement assumed that the invoice was lost in transit. It is an assumption because there is no way to verify what really happened.
The following statement is an example of an emotional reaction to perceived realities:
"The invoice was received two months ago. Finance claimed they sent out on the day they received the invoice. I'm going to be blamed for losing the invoice again. What is new? I'm always the one to get the blame."
The above statement is an emotional reaction because blame was immediately self-assigned even though no blame actually happened at the point in time. There is also a perceived reality that the speaker is a victim of circumstances. Unfortunately, it is not true.
In our daily work, it is sufficient to just state the facts and not interpret them with our own assumptions or our own emotions. This is equivalent to honesty in the work place.
6. Integrity
The purity of doing what is right, no matter what. This is a tough one. In the corporate work place, there are many temptations to compromise your integrity and sometimes it can come from above. All I can say is stay true to your value system. If the temptation is great, talk to someone whom you trust and seek the support you need to overcome the temptation. Once you've overcome the temptation, you will be stronger in your ability to resist the next time your integrity is being tempted.
7. Compassion
The essence of feeling another's pain while easing their hurt. The work place is not a place of healing. Yet, having compassion in the work place strengthens the bonds between co-workers, indirectly strengthening the team. You will have the peace of mind also when your co-worker is comforted and is able to concentrate on work once again.
8. Happiness
The full enjoyment of each moment – a smiling face. What kind of face would you like to see when you go to work each day? A sulking face, or a smiling face? What feelings would you have if you have to see a sulking co-worker every day? How do you think your co-workers, or even your superiors would feel, if they see you sulking every day? Smile with your heart... even though you may not feel like it. You'll feel better after smiling.
If you can practice the above 8 tips on a daily basis, I'm pretty sure you will have a peaceful life at home and also in the work place.
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